By Charles Barnard
Human relationships are a living juxtaposition. They can be indescribably beautiful and empowering or despicably hideous and destructive. Whether it is family, friends, or colleagues the relationships we have by blood or by choice or by circumstances can be an idyllic fairy tale or a tragedy. In large part, we are the ones who determine which it will be. We can control the story of our human relationships.
In training a mindset around family, we have two primary objectives. First, we want you to understand how your mindset has been influenced by your family. We learn so much by modeling behaviors we observe growing up. The formal rules our families operate under have an obvious and direct impact on the beliefs and values that shape our mindset. We all were taught certain dos and don’ts which if we violated led to consequences we did not want to have happen. Equally, if not more profoundly, the unwritten rules influence our mindset around how families and friends communicate and operate within those relationships.
One of the more influential of these unwritten rules are how you learn to communicate your emotions. By watching how your parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents interacted and allowed you to interact with cousins, siblings, friends, and even adults taught you the rules for expressing yourself, solving conflicts, and getting what you want. These rules become embedded as part of “who we are” and generally run outside our conscious awareness. Many of these unwritten rules we learned are not the best way to express yourself, solve conflicts, or get what you truly want. These unwritten rules you communicate by can quite possibly lead to difficulties with others when you try to have relationships with them.
Until you become aware of your family’s influence on your beliefs, values, and strategies, you can’t properly evaluate them and work on changing them if they are not the best means for developing a relationship with another person, a relationship that could become idyllic. Training that mindset involves eliminating any beliefs that may be interfering in developing powerful, positive, personal or family relationships. It will involve looking at your values and eliminating any potential values conflicts around relationships. It will involve going through the process of learning the knowledge associated with well-functioning human relationships so you can practice and develop the communications skills to strive toward that ideal.
The process is the same whether we are learning to deal within a family structure or outside that structure with our friendships and collegial relationships. Our family relationships generally have a greater impact on the development of those unconscious written rules around relationships in general, but our friendships and collegial relationships do have some impact as well.
With any skill such as a communication skill, you can be taught what to do, and be given instruction on practice exercises, but it is the purposeful practicing in real-world situations that will allow you to develop those skills over your lifetime. You do not read a book, watch a video, take a workshop, or attend a training and automatically have those skills. A well-structured training can purposefully aid in embedding the ideas and even the triggers to bring a greater degree of awareness, but they cannot do the practice for you. Ultimately, it will once again come down to the notion of developing habits in your life.
For example, when we have the objective of training you in the powerful technique of using the name of the person you are communicating with we can purposely embed the suggestion that this is necessary, important, and powerful helping to embed the motivation and desire to actually practice doing it, but we cannot cause you to do it. Only through your actions does the skill get developed. It is the same for any of the powerful communication ideas and skills you want to train.
As with most of the trainings we provide, our two relationship mindset trainings are designed to help you identify what areas you need to work on, release anything that may be preventing that from happening, embed the ideas and suggestions for motivation and desire, provide some ideas, and specific skills for your to consider and practice and use the habits developed to regularly practice any of the skills you want to develop.
Once we help you establish those foundations, you can pursue more and more knowledge and training and have the systems in place to continually improve throughout your lifetime, so you can create a grand story of powerful human relationships. You, however, must actually follow through. You will create your own story. You can just let circumstances dictate the direction of the story or you can purposefully shape the circumstances into the story you want it to be. What will you choose it to be? A story with a fairy tale ending or a tragedy? Will it be an idyllic romance or dystopian nightmare? Will it be an uplifting, motivating, feel-good drama or a dark, depressing, dysfunctional story of human despair? I pray you all choose purposefully and wisely, because your story, my story, everyone’s story is intertwined and embedded in the greater story of humanity and the central guiding force of the story is our relationships.
https://growthmimindsettrainingacademy.com/Success-Institutes-relationships
