Money, Relationships, Poverty, and Happiness

by Charles Barnard

A couple together outdoors wearing sunglasses looking sad.

Can money buy happiness? A common response is no, but it sure helps. Does it? As with many questions such as this the answer is… it depends.

Research has clearly shown that the quality of your relationships is the most important factor in determining your long-term well-being and happiness. Given the truth in that statement, the questions we would want to answer might be can money improve the quality of my relationships? How could money improve the quality of my relationships? Could money harm the quality of my relationships? How might money harm the quality of my relationships? Our beliefs and attitude about money, our mindset, will go a long way toward answering those questions and the overarching question of whether money can buy happiness.

When money is tight – regardless of what your income is – stress ensues. You may have a very high income and have been used to living a luxurious lifestyle and then something outside your control happens and money suddenly dries up – think Covid-19 and the lockdowns. Poor people are under that stress constantly. Increases in income for low income people does impact their happiness. Certainly, it can be easy for us to imagine why “people at or below the poverty line are about twice as likely as others to experience depression.”[1] Being in poverty is depressing. Increasing your income so you are above the poverty line tends to increase your happiness.

Once you are above the poverty line increases in income do not correlate to increases in happiness. Apparently, when we can begin to adequately cover essential needs such as food, clothing, shelter, medical care, our happiness and the well-being that comes with it is all about relationships. Our relationships are less impacted by money as we move above the poverty line.

The connection between poverty, mental health, and happiness is complicated. We know poor physical and mental health can lead to poverty. We know poor education can lead to poverty. We know poverty tends to make people unhealthier with less education. It becomes the proverbial chicken or the egg scenario. Poverty can increase the risk of mental health issues and mental health issues can lead to poverty. It can become a cycle of poverty – spiritual, physical, and financial.  

In looking at the cultural “Horatio Alger” story, strong personal character (mental and moral health), hard work, and education would lead the hero of the story out of poverty and into wealth and prosperity. Immigrant success stories often showed the parents slaving away to save their money to be sure to get their first generation American a good education. It has been a story that has played out in real life for generations. Once again, we are confronted with the idea that resiliency shown by children and children and parents is really about their mindset.

Poverty increases stress related health challenges, which in turn can negatively impact the quality of relationships. The solution to the challenge is to build a mindset founded on love – agape. It is the old notion that you train character. You train patience, kindness, not being envious, not being boastful or proud, not being self-seeking, not dishonoring others, not being easily angered, not delighting in evil or others misfortune, trustfulness and trustworthiness, protectiveness, hopefulness, and perseverance. We, both individually and culturally, need to get back to purposefully and consciously training these traits. There are old tools and new tools we can use to do just that. The more those character traits are ingrained into your very core the more resilient you will be, the better quality your relationships will be, and the happier you will be. Love conquers poverty. Love conquers stress. Love conquers all.


[1] The Recovery Village. “Mental Illness and Poverty: A Depressing Reality.” The Recovery Village, 26 May 2022, http://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/mental-illness-and-poverty/. Accessed 28 Mar. 2023.

Published by Coach Chuck

What We Do: My team and I train athletes to become champions on and off the athletic field or arena. Who this is for? This is for parents and their student athlete who yearn for athletic and academic excellence as they fight to compete athletically at the next level, yet secretly fear the mounting pressures will cause their family to join the tens of thousands of college athletes and their families who experience stress related mental health challenges. What makes me unique? Besides the unique training, I have thirty years’ experience designing and implementing training programs for teenagers and young adults. Most coaches do not know how to transfer their skills to others because they don’t understand the mind/body connection. Traditional athletic coaching will never be maximized without proper mindset training, which requires both specialized knowledge and experience designing and implementing training programs. Case Studies Billy is an undersized shortstop. The summer of his freshman year in high school he got one hit his final at bat. By Billy’s junior year, he replaced the graduated four year Division 1 bound starting shortstop and earned all-conference honors. After graduating, he attended the local university, one of the top ranked D3 baseball teams in the country. After Covid canceled his freshman season, he was a scholar athlete for two straight years as an unrecruited walk on. Jill was a high school senior who was one of the favorites to win the indoor state championship in the 60m dash. Entering her final regular season meet, Jill’s times hadn’t improved from her junior year. She feared not getting a D1 scholarship. Using only one powerful mindset technique, Jill set personal and meet records in four successive meets while winning the state championship. She got her D1 scholarship. Mark was a junior at a D3 school baseball program. He had D1 talent and was expected to dominate the competition. Instead, Mark said, "I was mediocre at best." After mindset training, Mark did not lose a game for the final two years of college, became an All-American and even got to play three years of professional baseball. Are you looking to have your child and or yourself • experience more joy • be healthier • maximize potential • be grounded and a better leader • have more fulfilling relationships • be seen as a winner Are Ready to Talk? You can reach me using my contact information.

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